My cousin Michelle Ross wrote this on her blog. I always love reading what she has to say. Some of you may remember her, she went to Jordan our Junior year. Anyway, you should check out her blog some time for some interesting reads - mostly just her thoughts - but they always get me thinking. I just wanted to hear all of your thoughts on this subject. I shared some of my thoughts with her, and will again on my blog if I ever get time.
marriage - the anti-consumer mindset
Last night I wondered...why do people ever get married? Statistics show that satisfaction in marriage drops drastically after the first year and continues to drop...forever...Why would anyone wish such unhappiness upon themselves I ask?In speaking with some of my classmates today about this very topic, one mentioned that marriage goes against everything we are taught in our consumer society. We are brainwashed to think that there is always something better to come. This year our ipods are the "it" thing but next year it will be completely different and we will inevitably be unsatisfied with our current novelty. We are bombarded with messages that make us feel that what we have isn't good enough. Our phone is considered old a few months after we get it. Our computer software is suddenly incompatible with something 6 months down the road. Our car is a year old and doesn't shine the way it used to. Our clothes aren't in fashion 3 months after we buy them. The list goes on and on, but the message is clear: change is needed for satisfaction and happiness. Maybe that's why so many people are unhappy in marriage. Things were so great at first but then you realize after a short time that you are with the same person and expected to still be satisfied? When we are taught to want something better and newer and fresher? It goes against everything we have experienced in life. That is why marriage is the anti-consumer mindset. You have to learn to be satisfied with what you have. Is it possible I wonder? I just see so many unhappy marriages. So many disillusioned couples. So many people who don't know how to connect anymore with the person they once trusted the most. Being a hopeless romantic I want to believe what a religion professor at BYU once told me: that marriage is a miracle. I want to believe that it doesn't have to follow the consumer culture we are wrapped up in.
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11 comments:
Thanks Jennie! That is so sweet. And I'm pretty sure everyone hated Princess except for my family...she did bark and shed an insane amount!!
And about marriage...I hope one day I can have as good a marriage as you and Brock.
Jenn- Is that not so true and so sad for so many couples, hence the divorce rate. I know when I catch my self saying "oh I need that new phone" What the crap am I going to do with an I-phone sitting at home! So it's nice to put things into prespective and make sure you remember what is really important and that is your family and friends! Thanks for some good reading! We still have not gotten together We just need to set a date like next Thurs and do it! See if that works for you and well just have whoever can come! But I would love to see you and your cute boy!
Very true, I think so many people struggle after the "honeymoon" period, because reality sets in. Marriage is about a lot more than just a glamorous wedding. I know there are still days when I struggle with feeling bored about my life just because I don't have anything big coming up. Thanks for sharing this and making me realize how much I do have.
I think she is right, we do want change, better and newer. That is why we will become unsatisfied in our marriage if we are not continuing to grow and change within our marriage. Those who stay idle do become unhappy, but those who strive to better themselves as a couple are getting the newer, better improved version of their spouse and it keeps us interested. Studies show ups and downs in marriage, but it is interesting because those who stick it out throughout the down times will often come back up to where they were in the beginning.
While I read this, I just thought of my marriage, and how every year I was shocked at how in LOVE I still was, I know that sounds terrible. I always told Jackson, "Can you believe we are STILL SO in LOVE?" He would ask me what I thought was going to happen, I don't know I just thought it might dull a bit. I didn't know I would still get butterflies and so excited to be with him! It is different, but there is so much more depth to what we have now!! In my opinion, it is so much better!
mmmmmmmmmmm k so I went to Rage on Friday(sad you couldn't come) and Alisha was there with her sisters and her two little boyz, anyway I ditched Cohen and I actually got to ride some of the rides, so I know you are gone but when you get back we are definately ditchin the kids and going by ourselves before it closes up for the season
oh ya and I like this post, however I think that issues like these are what the world wants you to think about marriage and because good old Babylon has such an impact on peoples lifes, statistics will show in its favor, but if you think about things in life that you have worked really hard at you always come back to loving it that much more. Like when I was a gymnast it was really hard but because I put so much effort into it to be really good at it I have such a deep love for it(K that was a lame example) but you get what I am saying, when you work hard at a marriage you find happiness even when things are tough
we are blessed to know what we know and strive to become better each day, not only for ourselves, but for our spouse, our kids, and our heavenly father. you and brock are best friends and its so fun to see you two laughing and kidding around with eachother. sometimes we let life get to serious and forget to just relax and laugh!
Jennie, I know i have said too much already, but I remember cute Michelle with curly blonde hair from the good old gymnastics days!! So, that was fun to read from her, I love the end how she said hopefully marriage is a miracle. And, I read your comment and LOVED it! You need to post that on your blog.
hi jennie. alisa holland again! i saw the beautiful jessica bingham the other day and remembered that she was your cousin! (?) love the binghams...thought of you. just wanted to say hi.
oh, our blog [ littlehollandfamily.blogspot.com ] is temporarily unprivate if you want to take a looksie!
Hey, I was just wondering how you add the feature to see the updates of the blogs you have linked to your blog... if that makes sense. I figure this could cut down on some of the time I waste looking at blogs.
y'all need to read The Power Of Now by Eckhart Tolle, it's a good read but it also talks a lot about how people are never satisfied and puts things into perspective! I love being married and My husband has his flaws but nothing compared to some of the freaks out there, Ha HA and I have a lot more than him! I'm satisfied. Thanks for the insight love Leslie Doman
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