For some reason, I have always had a hard time discussing gay people. I have been taught that to be gay is wrong and we do not tolerate it. I have always had a problem with this. As proposition 8 has passed, (I’m supposed to be thrilled) this issue has been on a lot of people’s minds, and our church has been at the forefront of several discussions. I have been reading this month’s Ensign, and found a talk to be especially interesting. I really like a most of them, but this one fits this subject. It is the talk by Elder Robert D. Hales titled, “Christian Courage: The Price of Discipleship”. I have had many talks with friends and family about why it’s wrong to be gay, and every explanation given to me doesn’t make sense to me. I don’t even have any close relationships with gay people, I know several, but I have never discussed any of this with them. I just feel so bad for them. I try to put myself in their shoes, and can’t imagine anyone telling me who I can or cannot love. I have said this to my closest friends and family before, but, for those of you who are not gay, try to imagine if someone tried to tell you that it was wrong for you to love your spouse, or date who you’re dating, or, in my case, love a man. What would you do? Can you imagine how hard that would be? Your body and mind are attracted to one thing, but supposedly, you are supposed to love another. I just don’t feel it’s anyones’ place to tell us who we should love. I know I am going against everything the church teaches. That this is their particular trial, and as hard as it may be, they are to endure this and if they are strong enough they will find a way to marry in the temple, have children, and live a happy “normal” life. Those gay people that I do know have to deal with this every day. It is not something that you get over. That you get used to and move on. It is a daily struggle for their entire lives. Trust me when I say that I am so grateful that this is not my trial. To those of you who don’t feel the way I do, may I just say that I am not trying to start an argument, or say that we, as a church, should change our position on this. I am just trying to get those of you who are quick to judge, and call them bad, or wrong, or dirty, or gross, or whatever you may think of them to not judge. To love them, and be grateful that you are not struggling with what they are. In this talk it states that “Some people mistakenly think responses such as silence, meekness, forgiveness, and bearing humble testimony are passive or weak. But to “love our enemies, bless them that curse us, do good to them which despitefully use us, and persecute us” takes faith, strength, and most of all, Christian courage.” It says “As true disciples, our primary concern must be others’ welfare, not personal vindication.”
“True disciples avoid being unduly judgmental of others’ views.” President Monson has taught, “Let us learn respect for others…None of us lives alone—in our city, our nation, or our world.” “We are always better staying on the higher ground of mutual respect and love.” “Whatever someone’s race, creed, religion, political persuasion, (and I will add sexuality) if we follow Christ and show forth His courage, we must love them. We do not feel we are better than they are.”
I know that this is quite a post, and I do not usually post about anything but my kids, but this is something that has been on my mind a lot lately, and I just wanted to share my thoughts on it. I get really bugged when people jump at the chance to bag on other people. And the next time this issue comes up in your conversation, take a moment to put yourself in their shoes and think carefully about what you are saying.
Let me know what you think. Good or bad. And who knows, we didn’t used to let black men hold the priesthood because “the world wasn’t ready for it” so maybe one day, when the world is ready, this won’t be an issue anymore either.
Amazing Olive Oil Cake
4 days ago
16 comments:
Good post Jennie...we've had lots of talks about this. You are compassionate and that is a Christ-like quality. I think it's important, however, to recognize that race is different than sexual orientation, and practicing gay men cannot hold the priesthood, because God has condemned it. I think Satan is doing a really good job of making what's wrong look right. I think the Proclamation on the family was definitly inspired to come forth when it did.
But you are totally right about not being judgemental. Jesus taught that time and time again. "Love your neighbor as yourself." We are also taught to use righteous judgement, so while it is wrong to hate another, I do think that we need to stand up for what is right.
On another note, It would be interesting to see the statistics on how many homosexual people were sexually abused as children...I can't think of anything more vile, and I think that that goes to show that we cannot judge. Heavenly Father will hold everyone accountable for doing the best they could with what they were handed...
I totally agree with Talitha! Word for word. I just want to add the church's response to the same-sex marriage issue.
"The Church’s opposition to same-sex marriage neither constitutes nor condones any kind of hostility toward gays and lesbians. Even more, the Church does not object to rights for same-sex couples regarding hospitalization and medical care, fair housing and employment rights, or probate rights, so long as these do not infringe on the integrity of the traditional family or the constitutional rights of churches."
I totally agree with this. They want them to have all of the rights they want, but at the same time they want to save the traditional family. Also, being gay IS a trial, a sucky one, but a trial nonetheless and the beautiful thing is that when they get resurrected those feelings will go away! They won't have to deal with that anymore and they'll be able to live a happy, normal life. And it's hard because most of the gay population aren't LDS so they don't know this truth. They feel it's just natural and it's okay for them to act on these feelings. Which, obviously, they'll be judged according to their knowledge and their works based on that knowledge.
I heard once that there will be people who will be surprised at who made it to the Celestial Kingdom. Heavenly Father and Jesus are so forgiving and kind that there will be people we just didn't think would be there. When I heard that I immediately stopped any judgement I had of anyone and just knew that I had no idea where anyone would end up. Just because they're gay or even acting on it doesn't mean they're damned forever. So I agree with you when you said to not judge them. Also, I give them props for sticking up for what they truly believe to be right. I just wish they felt the same way about us.
I've read through this and I don't think there's anything offensive but I'm not a very tactful person, so if there is. I APOLOGIZE!
Jennie-
It takes courage to post about things that are serious, especially if they are controversial. I think it is good to remember (and be so thankful) that in the end, we will not be the judge of people's eternal welfare. That is left to our perfectly merciful, perfectly just, and perfectly understanding Father in Heaven.
I echo your friends in saying that I do not feel that homosexuality is something that the world will "someday be ready for" as in the church will someday condone it. The relationship of marriage between man and woman and the power to create tabernacles for spirits that comes with it is an eternal principle. And I'm glad that the people of California voted (for now at least) to protect that institution. Those in the world that are blessed to have a happy marriage or to not struggle with homosexuality will held accountable for their actions in regard to those blessings. It's a crazy world we live in and Satan is getting more subtle and brazen at the same time. Thankfully we have living prophets and if we are nourishing our testimonies, it will be easier to stand by them no matter what else comes.
Thanks for your post. I am a gay man who lives in rural Appalachia. Many time I feel my life itself is being threatened just by rumors in our are that I may be gay. It is a hard life.
I am also quite offended by people like Stephanie who say that we are being offered everything except a word. This is one of those lies that is used for encouraging others to not see the truth here.
We would be happy if it were just a word of difference. People should see the "benefits of Marriage" then make sure we get em all. Otherwise we are only being given room on the back seat.
This is a personal issue to gay people. This argument is promoting hate from both sides. Let us pray for each other and try to come to a clearer understanding of each other and our true issues.
Dale in Tennessee
When the Nazis came for the communists,
I remained silent;
I was not a communist.
When they locked up the social democrats,
I remained silent;
I was not a social democrat.
When they came for the trade unionists,
I did not speak out;
I was not a trade unionist.
When they came for the Jews,
I remained silent;
I was not a Jew.
When they came for me,
there was no one left to speak out.
When the LDS came for the Homosexuals,
I remained silent;
I was not a homosexual.
A must read letter from a gay Mormon
http://connellodonovan.com/labyrinths.html
When in doubt, trust the prophet. He's not just a man speaking for himself. He's speaking for God. While we may not understand everything happening in the world. I find comfort in knowing that our prophet would never ask us to support something promoting anything bad. And that's just it. I don't believe most churches promote badness. People have flaws, the gospel does not. It's unfortunate people judge. I try to keep my opinions in tact with what our prophet says. I trust that he knows much more than we do. Sometimes it's hard to trust though. It's a battle to be Christlike and open to new ideas for sure. We can all be better. That's why we're here right? I believe it will get even harder to support the right. The devil is cunning.
What is that poem supposed to even mean? I love what Amber said! I very much agree that we need to be friendly, kind, and treat them with respect. (which sadly some have not shown us lately) But we have to stand up for what is right. I know that the Proclamation of the Family is a divine statement and we need to protect that. We know it is not Heavenly Fathers plan. The adversary is SO sly, cunning, subtle, brazen, the father of all lies, and we need to be SO careful. I agree wholeheartedly that if we will be strengthening our testimonies through attending our meetings, fasting, prayer, scripture study, and so on, we will be blessed with strength and the confirmation of what is right. We MUST stick to that! The world will only get worse, and the attacks on us greater. Kind of scary :(
Ok well 3rd time is a charm, I have wrote 3 different posts now and none of them sound right. I agree with everything that's been posted and all though I do not support same sex marriage I can even see were your "Anonymous" poster is coming from. I can not even claim that I understand how hard it would be for someone to be told not to love whom they love, but I do stand with the LDS Church, Cathloic Church, and all the other organizations in their stance to uphold the value of a tradtional marriage between a man and a woman.
I have to say that I know a handful of gay people personally. I love these people, and I think they are amazing individuals. Of course we should treat them well, and not place judement on anyone we know, regarless of who they are. I will say though, that it is not lost on me that as you are willing to defend gay rights, there are hundreds and hundreds that have stood and rallied at the temples you worship in, yelling obscenities and horribel things about what you hold sacred: quite obviously not willing to do the same for you. So many of them ask for certain rights, and yet or completely willing to take away the rights of others: freedom of worship and religion. As human beings we should treat each other better than this. It is also not lost on me that the LDS church is taking the brunt of this all, while it is clearly not the only opposition to this issue. I believe the entire state of California made it's choice, not just the LDS church. But it will always be the LDS church that get's attacked. ALWAYS. So do I believe in gay marriage? I think that it would absolutely re-write the definition of the family unit. Some people might think that would be a good thing. However, it comes to mind the example of the pregnant "man". She is not a man: she is a lesbian woman who chose to have her breasts removed, take hormones to grown facial hair, and then get pregnant. She has a complete female reproductive system, and just because she wishes to be a man, does not suddenly make her one. I simply try to put myself in the shoes of that child, especially for the first 18 years of his/her life, being told that his "father" gave birth to him. How incredibly confusing and hard this is going to be for that child. And so I have my answer.
Hi Jennie, we don't know each other that well but we've met a couple times. Anyway, somehow I stumbled upon your blog...hope you don't mind.
First, it's a small, small world. I recently found out that a guy in my old singles ward in Kansas City is your cousin, Brian Cates. When he told me you two were cousins, I thought it was so funny that you and I were in the same ward.
Second, I agree with you 100% on everything you wrote in this post. It's been on my mind for a LONG time but I avoid all confrontation where I can and I didn't want to hear anything back from anyone...I'm a wuss, I know. But it's nice to know that there is someone else who feels the exact same way I do. In a lot of posts I've read, people seem to write so negatively about the gay issue, but it's nice to see a member of the church having some sympathy for the gay community and writing about it in a different light. I appreciate your post, and thanks for letting me sneak into your blog for a few minutes. But I guess you didn't have a choice :) Sorry!
Jennie,
Brocks cousin James here. Obviousely living in Cali this topic is on the forefront of a lot of conversations.
I love your post. We have no idea what gay people must feeling and must give them the utmost respect and kindness.
I am not sure what your position on the matter was or is as many people have said the same things and been for and against the prop.
As one who supports the proposition I couldnt agree with you more...only to add that we must also give the utmost respect and love to God first. And that goes for any topic.
Jennie,
Thank you for your courageous and amazing post.
Sometimes I think the true test of this life is being courageous and true to oneself. You have shown that.
You are an amazing woman and I am lucky to be your Aunt.
It's Lisa Suker, your childhood neighbor. I have to say thank you for this post. I have also been stuggling with this issue in my own heart for years. I have prayed and read as much as I can about it and the thoughts of many of your friends on here have been insightful. As you probably know my oldest brother Jason is gay (he's been "out" for 12 years now) and married his partner Mike in California this summer. My little sister Heather has also choosen to date women. I love my siblings dearly and have struggled for years with my feelings of wanting to support them, but not being sure how to do it appropriately. I know they have both struggled with their feelings and feel like they have made the best choose for their own lives. At the end of the day I just want them both to be happy and healthy.
I agree with a few other people's comments, in that, I feel that this is their trial in life and Satan is doing everything in his power to pursuade them that this is who they are.
The truth is that they are both strong, independent, loving individuals who are looking for someone to love them and take care of them the rest of their lives, just like anyone else.
I have also struggled with the comments made in various church meetings by members who are so opening opposed the homosexuals and the lives they have choosen to lead. I have been amazing how hateful people can be but on the flip side I have also been amazed by so many out there like you who choose to be loving and non-judgemental. This truely shows your Christ-like attributes! Thank you again for your willingness to talk opening about this subject.
Who knows where to download XRumer 5.0 Palladium?
Help, please. All recommend this program to effectively advertise on the Internet, this is the best program!
Very nicce!
Post a Comment